The Wisdom and Wit of Dr. Bob

August  2007                              Volume 1, Issue 2
http://www.MansfieldBooks.com

Welcome to the second newsletter of 2007 from Dr. Robert Mansfield. Dr. Bob wrote this article several years ago and rewrote it for this issue. It's difficult to remember a time when you could count on a person's word. It is past time to return to that kind of integrity.

Is Integrity A Thing Of The Past?

There was a time when a person posted a bond to ensure that the terms of a contract would be fulfilled. When I was a lad we used to hear the phrase, “His word is as good as his bond,” signifying that the man would absolutely do what he promised; he didn’t need to post a bond. That was yesterday.

Today it seems that too many people make promises they either do not intend to keep, or change their mind according to shifting circumstances. In the former case, they plan to deceive you. In the latter case, if it’s going to cost them, their word is voided and you lose.

A man and woman stand before the minister. They vow to be faithful to each other in thick or thin, sickness or health, until death do us part. Or, bathed in the modern attitude of cynicism and distrust, they might change the wording to something like, until we are no longer compatible. To top it off, they may sign a pre-marital contract limiting liability if and when the marriage dissolves. Obviously, they don’t think it will last long, and sometimes the world thinks that it’s weird to have a decades-old union anyhow. Permanence is passé; everything is temporary. Keeping one’s word doesn’t count for much anymore. That’s the level to which we as a people have sunk.

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Since our society has apparently abandoned integrity, the common argument is that what people do in private life doesn’t really affect how they perform their duties. So we support politicians who have consistently lied and misbehaved, and even committed crimes, as long as the economy is good. If we learned to think this way, then it follows that we agree integrity is no longer practical.

New York Mayor Guiliani, admitting to his long time affair and contemplating divorce from Donna Hanover, his wife of 16 years, said he hoped they could reach an agreement that gives the children all the security and protection they deserve, and protects Donna. Columnist Cal Thomas (World, May 27, 2000) said, “Excuse me, but what would protect their 14-and 10-year-old children and give them security would be that the mayor and his wife announce they are entering counseling with the specific objective of saving and strengthening their marriage.”

In 38 years of counseling, I found that the young children of divorce suffered immense psychological trauma. School grades dropped. They felt guilty that they had somehow caused the breakup. Some were suicidal, clinically depressed, or physically ill. Many were enraged and took it out on the parent who gained custody, or on their peers and teachers. Some were ready to kill. If we really want to protect our children, let us help make the world safe from adultery, homosexuality, lying and cheating.

If we are going to advance society, or at least retain what we have achieved, then we again must learn to value character, truthfulness and integrity. Perhaps we need to increase the salaries of teachers, firemen and policemen and decrease what we give to entertainers who often flaunt traditional morals. And if we cannot tell the difference between public servants whose record highlights integrity and truth, and those who flaunt the truth, then I fear for the future of our nation.